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a nursing home

by The Scalding House Records

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1.
I fell in love with a stone grey idea That passing though one another was a guaranteed replacement for the purity of fear And I watched as she tried to fill the holes Left in her soul by the disappointment of growing old With anything that poured from the cabinet in the corner A finger measure filling fifths and quarts of pleasure An open house and we’re all invited if we don’t get too close. As the standard candles blaze bright white light Across a silvery stellar black night it goes unnoticed To the ones who fight the bad fight. To the ones who have tasted nectar in the gardens Seeded with decisions struck from the record And hidden in the shadows of their own moonless night. Ploughing though the seasons But the weeds are hard pressed and reasoned A crows nest filled with cuckoo eggs we are fakers They’re believers. So I struck out on this river and made my way home Sending messages by semaphore I called out silently but all I got was a dialling tone These gestures seem empty like bone cages they went to dust and to ashes spiralling in a little paper pill pot in a nursing home We are forever they said we are forever But I never figured out what they meant When they said we are forever They are believers. As the standard candles blaze bright white light Supernovas go unnoticed in liquid plights She turns to the cabinet and sees salvation on ice In wood grain and dust and tumblers rimmed with lipgloss We are the quiet ones the ones who loved you the ones who have lost. We are the quiet ones the ones who have loved you the ones who have lost. As omens come home We are the quiet ones the ones who loved you the ones who have lost.
2.
tearbox 04:36
As I lie among the flowers and the feelings i have lost, you bring me back to life with the sealing of the knot. I try to fuel some anger, I try to break the chain, but all I get is masochism, a funny kind of pain. You're pretty now i feel you, you're pretty when it comes. Your pretty now I feel you in the rust that’s in my lungs. You’re pretty like the flowers, Your pretty when I fall, Cradled in the arms of the mother who spawned us all. Cellophane and semaphore I tried to reach you across the distance Of some stupid little metaphor like lives are all just instants, Little flashes of light in a void of total darkness And all of Beckett's children lie in wait of all the greatness. Less than this, more than veins breathing oxygen through systems, I feed my brain with Novocaine and lie in wait of premonitions. Broken beggars bleeding buckshot Too shy to see the sun. We’re looking down the barrel of another loaded gun Another loaded gun Now I make puppets through your window With shadows cast by my soul, Its easy now you’re broken, Its easy now you’re old. Sold out junky-shit-for-brains lying stoned up sick and twisted Is measuring the marks of a train track life that he has wasted. “Can I start all of this over? Can I take it from the top? I know I need to take control, but don’t tell me when to stop!” It’s a broken field of ice that’s filling up the oceans, It’s a war torn bitter actor just going through the motions. It’s pretty now I feel you, It’s pretty when you come, Its pretty now I feel you in the rust that’s in my lungs. Rust that’s in my lungs Got this tearbox in the ground, Broken, cracked, carved from wood, The guilt and blood I keep inside it would be hidden if I could peel away the layers And reveal the greatest shame Its fun to find the end, Its fun to end this game.
3.
black hole 04:45
you could scream but what good wold that do you i followed your dream into that black hole a man stands on a corner feeling ten years older than he is because he follow the advice given him by god by god so take your message away cos no one wants to hear it take your blood away cos no one wants to see it and you're lonely in a crowded room and you're broken but you're feeling brand new and it will pass i promise you it will pass someone can you hear me out there anyone can you hear me? my cross is tall it's hard to bare tall enough to be seen by god so take your message away cos no one wants to hear it take your blood away cos no one wants to see it and you're lonely in a crowded room and you're broken but you're feeling brand new and it will pass i promise you it will pass
4.
litefall 03:29
is there any other way? I've got to disappear today. should i make the last lifetime a short and sweet affair? I'll move the rocks with my hands days fall into years. it's all too bad you know i should have opened my eyes seen that litefall from the sky wrapped in hessian filled with a bitter spite. I'm not the one you need don't you understand? it's not the knife that kills it's the hand it's not the blood that flows it's the vein it's nothing personal it's just pain and i should have done better i know with the time I've had so far
5.
I'm trying to paint by numbers but I keep going over the lines But the paint is viscous and it sticks to everything I find. So I'm slipping and I'm failing and I'm covered in this ink And I'm trying to keep my hands away from all of your precious things. And so what? I'm a carrion crow feeding off my own flesh and bones, pulling organs from holes I was never really whole I was never really there I was never really breathing I was never really giving my all to this bloated galleon of fools And we sail on and on but no ones at the helm And no ones on the rudder We are clutching for the stars but we do it from the gutter. But I'm trying to stay positive And I'm trying to stay positive but where's the positivity, When the flood waters rise and the bridge collapses from underneath of me? And the galleon is disappearing over the horizon All the laughing sunshine faces hold and kiss one another and they look like dolls out at this distance with the wreckage of the bridge floating around me in broken tiny little splinters. And I'm trying to paint by numbers but it keeps washing away and day by day the lines change rearrange to shapes and veins unfamiliar yet utterly mundane. So here are my coordinates 45 degrees north and 10 degrees west and arbitrary points on lines marked x y and z. If you know where I am send a letter to my brethren tell them I love them all and I'll see you all in heaven. A broken galleon is washed up in wages and careers and all the things we strive for For years and years and years.. And the happy sunshine faces hold their lives above their heads Cos heaven forbid should they get any of their useless shit wet. And the ones that hold the most are the ones sinking furthest under, their happy sunshine faces fixed in pseudonyms of wonder. And I'm trying to paint by numbers but the sea salt has got me blind and the sea salt has got me choking and the sea salt has got me bound And the sea salt is in my ears And the sea salt is in my throat How can you expect me to say these words And then expect me not to choke? How can you expect the world to support you in your race against time When you don’t have the courage to judge yourself? Or put yourself on trial? And i'm trying to paint by numbers but my palette is cracked and dry Baked and desiccated by this unforgiving UV light.

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released July 11, 2014

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The Scalding House Records Birmingham, UK

The Scalding House Records is an independent record label focused on all things noise related. HN, HNW, PE, Noisecore, grindcore, filth and degradation. check out the merch for tapes, CDs and other lovely goodies.

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